Painful Embrace
by Chaos in the Moonlight
Summary: It's Alexander's wedding night to Roxanne and Hephaistion is not dealing with it well.


Title: Painful Embrace

Pairing(s): Hephaistion/Alexander

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing is true ... these are the lies I have created.

Warning(s): m/m slash, angst, love

Word-count: 5,900

Beta: the stunning queencheeze

Note: Written for bi-weekly Alexander Alphabet Challenge

Hephaistion paused in the great hallway, thoughts twirling and twisting and funneling inside his head. He'd been preparing himself for this all day so the only thing left to do was just get it over with. Drawing a startlingly painful breath into his lungs, his fingers reached out to trace the intricate patterns of the dark, heavy door. How many times had he sought entrance inside? How many times had this door granted him the peace and solitude to make him feel safe and secluded from whatever was happening on the other side? He'd never been shy about seeking passage before, but this was a special circumstance, a once-in-a-lifetime conversation that, as much as he did not want to engage in, had to be held nonetheless.

He'd survived the day; a day of celebration to most, a day to celebrate the ushering in of a new regime for Alexander's army, a day to remember for years to come as the day that the mighty King Alexander had finally taken a wife. It had been more a day of silent and solemn mourning than festivities for Hephaistion. He'd stood straight and tall during the ceremony, the heaviness of his red tunic biting into his flesh while the sun blazed down on him as if he'd suddenly been taken to Hades itself. He'd managed quite well**,** looking celebratory when he had to; but otherwise he kept his distance from the revelers and nay-sayers alike.

He'd wanted to fade into the scenery, he'd wanted not to stand out among the crowd**,** and he'd thought he'd done a fine job of it until later in the day, when General Cleitus had decided it was time to liven things up. But even then Hephaistion had not made a fuss. He'd not let anyone know the discomfort he'd been feeling all day, nor the pain he suffered within. Even when blood had poured from his nose and his lip, he hadn't sought attention, but simply retreated to his rooms to rectify the situation and compose himself. He'd not wanted to return to the celebration**,** but in his heart of hearts he knew that even as occupied as Alexander was, his life-long friend would still notice the absence of his most-trusted companion.

The door itself was almost foreboding, almost a dire warning in its sturdiness and refinement, and if Hephaistion let his thoughts wander far enough away, he could even imagine the door warning him away from the insides of the room. But that was not to be. He needed to stay focused and not allow the thoughts and already-forming regrets to flood his brain and take over his actions.

Straightening the fur around his shoulders, and taking a final swipe at the blood he knew still pooled in the corner of this mouth, he took one last deep breath fingered the soft bag nestled in his palm, and reached out his hand to knock softly**,** seeking entrance to start and end the conversation that would surely seal his fate or**,** at least, the fate of his heart.

*****

Hephaistion woke with a start, his mind swimming and confused. He felt the hand caressing his skin before he even opened his eyes, but never would have imagined it belonged to who it did.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, struggling to raise himself to a sitting position**,** while his spinning head struggled uncooperatively.

"You were moaning in your sleep and your brow was damp with sweat," Alexander replied, taking a last swipe at Hephaistion's forehead with the cool cloth. "Were you engaged in a nightmare, Phai?"

"I mean what are you doing in my room, Alexander?" The very thought that Alexander was sitting beside him**,** stroking his forehead, was one that Hephaistion had to see to believe; it was just out of the question as to why such a situation was even playing out. "Should you not be with your wife?"

Hephaistion shut his eyes tight, the harshness of his own words making him flinch and clench his jaw. He never used such a tone with Alexander, or with most others unless it somehow involved the subject of Alexander, and he instantly regretted using such a rude pitch.

"I never meant to cause you this much discomfort, Hephaistion," Alexander said softly, as Hephaistion opened his eyes to dark ones searching the lifelong solitude of his own.

Hephaistion averted his eyes to the clenched hands in his lap. If he looked into Alexander's eyes he would surely fail to maintain the stoic act he was trying so hard to sustain. "I know not of what you speak, my king. I merely had too much to drink in honor of your marriage, and you know that when I'm in my cups, my sleep is often troubled."

"Yes, I do, and you know as well as I do, that that is not what I was referring to, Phai. Why must you be so on edge with me at this moment? Can we not speak as we always have**,** without the presence of formality overshadowing our conversation?"

"Go back to your room, Alexander. It's late, and I implore you to let me rest my swollen head, and I promise to speak with you using less formality tomorrow. Does your new queen not deserve a proper wedding night?"

Alexander smirked, his hand reaching out to tangle in the long strands of Hephaistion's mussed hair. "The queen had a proper wedding night, a fact you most likely would not like me to speak of in detail, would you?"

"You are being cruel, Alexander," Hephaistion hissed, lifting and tossing his head so that Alexander's fingers held only air in the aftermath. "And, yes, I would prefer you save your detailed account for your other generals."

"I have no intention of discussing my wedding night with anyone, Hephaistion, and most notably not the one I hold dearest in my heart."

"Alexander ... please ... let me be."

"I told myself that very thing as I lay in the dark beside my new wife, the stillness of the room almost choking the breath from my body, my only peace the weight of the ring on my finger. But I am a selfish man, Hephaistion, a fact you must surely know by now."

"Yes, I will agree with you on that, my king."

Alexander let out a gentle laugh, his hand finding Hephaistion's and immediately twining their fingers together. "Don't struggle with me, man. Your hands are cold as ice and shaking as well, just allow me to hold them. That is an order."

Hephaistion shook his head. There was just no reasoning with this man, and most especially not when Alexander was clear-headed and he, himself, was surely still half drunk. "You were saying? About being a selfish man?"

Snickering again, Alexander stroked Hephaistion's knuckles. "My selfishness is something that many have tried to cure**,** but none have succeeded in doing so. You, yourself have also tried, but in this circumstance it is clearly your fault that I must remain selfish."

Hephaistion frowned into Alexander's eyes, his brows furrowing as he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. "If I was an unselfish man, I would not be sitting here with you on my wedding night. If I was an unselfish man, I would not be clutching your hand in mind, afraid that letting go would allow you to slip through my fingers forever. If I were an unselfish man, I would simply allow you to dismiss me**,** as was your obvious intention this evening."

"Dismiss you? I did no such thing." Hephaistion's voice crackled with the dryness of the copious amounts of wine he'd drunk. He was most unclear as to what Alexander was trying to say, but whatever it was, it was making him angry and irritated, even more so than just having the man in the room at a time he most assuredly wished he was not. "I wished you a happy life and gave you a gift as the friend I am. There was no dismissing involved."

"You are extremely defensive tonight, my love."

"Alexander! Do not call me that, it merely adds salt to my wounds."

"Then speak to me with truth, Hephaistion. Speak to me the words you need to say, not merely with gifts and sweet, superfluous sentiments. The embrace you left me with was one of pain, not joy. I am not always the quickest in understanding the workings of anyone's mind, not even yours, but I could feel the sadness radiating from your entire body as you clutched me to you."

"I believed you would appreciate the ring a little more than that."

"And I do. Is it not on my finger at this very moment? The finger that it will adorn for the rest of my days, I can assure you. And be it a nice try to turn the conversation from what is intended, I'll not have you distract it from what it truly needs to be."

Hephaistion frowned. He was generally the one who caught such things, and Alexander was generally the one who allowed such distractions to change the course of what he was going on about. "And what may I ask is your intention?"

"I've already apologized for the interruption of your visit this night, by my newly-wedded wife, so I've come here to continue the discussion that I believe was not completed."

"You're mistaken. It was completed. There is nothing else to say that cannot be said in the morning."

"Your stubbornness surely outweighs mine in times like this. Do you really wish not to tell me your true feelings on the day's events? Do you simply wish for me to accept your gift and your words, and if that is the case, how callous do you believe I am to be able to do just that?"

Hephaistion dipped his head. Alexander was right, there were words that needed to be spoken and had the new queen not walked in, he believed he might have been able to clear those very words from his conscience, but now ...

"Do you no longer want to be by my side, Hephaistion?"

Lifting his head again, the general spoke in a hush that was barely audible**,** even in the silence of the room. "I merely wanted to make things easier ... for us both."

"By doing what? And making what easier? I honestly don't understand,. I know my marriage is a matter of true disdain for you, and that is completely understandable, but your words tonight had such a tone of finality that I do not know what you are thinking. And I absolutely must know."

"I wish you nothing but happiness and joy, Alexander, but I do not wish to be the third in your life."

Alexander's eyes grew enormously, one hand rising in the air in a complete gesture of frustration. "The third? How can you possibly be considered the third? And what do you mean by the third? Your words have no rhyme nor reason behind them. Have I ever truly treated you as anything other than the most important person in my life?"

Hephaistion shook his head sadly. "You have not, and it is my own selfishness that prohibits me from wanting to hold a lesser place in your life, Alexander. I may be half-drunk but I still know who holds the positions closest to you now. You've sought the comfort of Bagoas for some time, and ..."

"Bagoas does not give me the same comfort you do, not in any way."

"And now you have a new wife to give you that same comfort. Do you truly believe you can stretch yourself far enough to include all three of us in your life? I would prefer to merely watch over you as I've always done, rather than be just another night visit that you are required to make. I do not wish to put you through the added strain of having to find time to be with me. I am neither your wife, nor your servant at your beck and call, and having to force you to be with me is not what I wish."

Alexander stood quickly from the bed, his dressing gown flowing out around him as he began to pace the parameter of the room. "You cannot believe you are merely a visit in the night to me, Hephaistion. Surely, you cannot."

Hephaistion looked up from the hands in his lap, summoning all his strength to lift himself from the bed. "Alexander, you are twisting my words," he said, approaching his lover and gently grasping his arm.

Alexander shook himself from Hephaistion's light grip. "I believe your words are twisted enough that I do not even have to attempt to twist them myself."

"Oh, you are surely making my head spin," the general replied, seating himself at his desk and pouring a cup of water from the pitcher.

"I believe the wine is doing that, not me." Alexander's voice was gruff to the point of being angry, his fingers threading through his blond curls in such a harsh way, it appeared he might pull them out completely. "You are not, nor will you ever be a third in my life. And if this discussion is solely centered around whom I bed and in what order, then I am truly disappointed in you."

This discussion was not going anywhere close to where Hephaistion had wanted it to go. His head ached and his stomach churned**,** as he chastised himself for giving into the drink that would surely cause him even more distress as it worked its way through and out of his system. But what other options had he really had when he came back from leaving his beloved with his new wife? Would it have been better for him to have gone out and found some available wench or boy to service him? Would that have eased his troubled mind, and helped him forget what was going on behind the closed door of the king's room? He'd never sullied himself in such a way before, content to just be in the presence of his beloved**-** and in his bed when the situation was right **-** and at the time of his grief, he'd had no yearning to do so.

"Hephaistion! Do you mean to have me standing here all night without a word from you? I'm vastly losing my patience in trying to understand what you are thinking**.** Please, can we not continue, or are you still too far into your cups to do so?"

"I am." The words were simple, and completely false, and Hephaistion waited, breath held tightly in his chest, the several seconds it took for Alexander to reply.

"I do not believe you."

Of course he did not, or he would not be the stubborn and obstinate man that Hephaistion held so dearly in his heart. "We've not had relations in some time, Alexander, and though my decision to dismiss you, as you so rudely call it, is not based solely on that part of the time we spend in each other's arms, it is does play a large part."

Alexander stopped his pacing, the exquisite darkness of his eyes settling on Hephaistion's down-turned face. Crossing the room, he knelt before the man, his fingers brushing over the heavy red tunic that he'd searched for during all the activities of his wedding day. He'd tried hard not to let Hephaistion out of his sight, even bearing witness to the spectacle that Cleitus had made of himself when he attacked the smaller general. He'd wanted to jump up and defend Hephaistion, he'd wanted that with all his heart but his mind took over before his body could react. Hephaistion would not have wanted the extra attention drawn to him, nor would he have wanted Alexander coming to his rescue like some soldier defending a woebegone lady.

"Do you truly believe I've become disinterested in your affections, Phai? Have I made you feel undesirable or unwanted in that way? If I have, I am sincerely sorry."

"No, Alexander. That's not it. You are experiencing new aspects of pleasuring your body, and I surely do not fault you for that. I've no claim on who you lay down with**,** or whom you touch**,** or who touches you. But I fear ..."

Hephaistion hung his head, his eyes focusing on the strong fingers caressing his tunic. What exactly did he fear? What was it he _needed_ to say to his beloved? What was it he _wanted_ to say? He knew his great turmoil was not really in what he wanted to say, but in what he believed he _had_ to say to ease Alexander's burden. It was unfortunate that his wants and needs did not match in a situation in which the consequences were so dire and painful.

"What is it you fear, Phai?" Alexander asked, passing his hand over the tunic and resting it on top of Hephaistion's clenched hands. "Can you not, even after all this time, tell me that?"

Thankful**,** but at the same time saddened by the fingers playing over his, Hephaistion looked up into the depths of Alexander's eyes and smiled, his heart breaking all over again with the same intensity he'd felt when he'd hugged Alexander to him earlier. "I fear that since our bodies are no longer joined, that our hearts shall come apart as well."

Alexander was stunned. He knew no other way to describe the feeling that washed over him with Hephaistion's words. He prided himself on always having something to say, always having the right words**,** and always being quick with any reply he needed to make, but Hephaistion had truly taken the words from him**,** along with the very breath in his body.

The obvious discomfort that filled the room was like a blanket of darkness. Neither man spoke; both bowed their heads and wished to be anywhere other than where they actually were. Hephaistion attempted to draw his hand away from Alexander's but was rewarded with the man's fingers tightening over his**,** in what could only be described as a death grip. The general's thoughts assaulted the inside of his head, bumping and colliding with no place to go. His ears thumped with the sound of his own heart and his stomach burned with nausea.

He suddenly realized that the words he had hastily uttered might have been the ones he'd needed to say all along**;** though his intention had not been to use them in the obvious way that Alexander had taken them, they just might have sealed the fate of Hephaistion's heart. "Please go back to your room, Alexander," he whispered, calm and controlled now that he'd done what had to be done.

Raising his head, he met the misty eyes of his lover and was quickly buried in his embrace. "What ... I ..." he stammered, barely able to breath as Alexander clutched him around the middle, one hand straying to the back of his head and seemingly breaking Hephaistion's skull in its grip. "What are you ..."

Any other words from Hephaistion's mouth were quickly cut off as Alexander's lips found his, clashing them together in a way that could only be described as desperate. Hephaistion could barely breathe when Alexander's tongue forced its way into his mouth**;** then, quickly, he was shoved backwards and onto the floor with Alexander crashing down on top of him.

"Alexander!" Hephaistion managed to squeak out before the king's mouth found his again. One of Alexander's hands gripped tightly in Hephaistion's long hair, pulling slightly as their mouths ground together, the other roaming his body, fingertips scratching at the fabric of his tunic.

"I'll not have you thinking our hearts are anywhere but together, Phai," Alexander hissed into his lover's mouth. "I can't bear the thought of you being anywhere but where you are right now, beside me in body, heart and soul."

Hephaistion gave up his struggle, winding his arms around Alexander's neck and pulling him further down onto his body. He could taste wine on Alexander's tongue, could feel his beloved's very breath entering his mouth and mixing with his own. His body squirmed and fought to get closer to Alexander, muscles rippling and fluttering beneath his skin when his lover's hand passed over them. He had to pull back when that very same hand suddenly shoved its way under his tunic and down his Persian pants, immediately gripping his aching length**,** and pulling a groan from his throat as he arched his neck.

"There has been many a time when we've fallen asleep in this very room, Phai," Alexander purred against the soft skin of Hephaistion's throat. "Many a time when we needed nothing but the presence of each other to calm our nerves and settle our minds."

The king's tongue lapped sloppily up Hephaistion's neck, winding its way behind his ear and flicking at the lobe. His hand tightened around Hephaistion's member, fingertips running up and down the shaft as Hephaistion's body bucked up into him. "Your body has always been one of pure enjoyment to me, Phai. It's always been the only one I've touched and wanted to touch. Bagoas may service my needs, but don't be fooled into thinking I do anything but allow him to do so. There is no touching or speaking on my part, merely commanding and being serviced."

Hephaistion groaned deep in his throat, a raging ball of heat beginning to build in his groin and quickly making its way to his spine**,** where it fanned out to his entire body. He felt nothing but warmth and contentment and bliss as Alexander continued to stroke and lave.

"Not engaging in the pleasures of our bodies does not make the time we do spend together less meaningful, Hephaistion," Alexander continued, the nearness of his voice echoing in Hephaistion's ear, sending shivers up his spine. "On the contrary, I believe our ability to restrain ourselves when we're alone together shows a greater degree of intimacy than merely ravaging each other."

"Is this an example of your ... restraint, my king?" Hephaistion sputtered, the hand on his shaft moving in long, slow strokes now, his brain becoming less and less able to think at all, let alone think in full sentences.

Alexander chuckled, the sound humming against Hephaistion's jugular and running straight to his groin. "This is an example of how much I want you all the time, Phai. How I hunger to be only with you, only with this body, only in these arms."

"Alexander, you must stop," Hephaistion gasped, his words and actions being in direct contradiction to each other as he clung tighter to Alexander's neck. "I must not ... not here ... not ..."

Ignoring the general's pleas, Alexander continued his assault. .Hephaistion's body bucked and convulsed, his muscles contracting and spasming against Alexander's body while his beloved fastened their lips together in a passionate kiss. He struggled to breathe, his hands clutching at any and every part of Alexander, his body continuing to rise and fall.

Alexander let Hephaistion ride out his passion, the pleasure that encased his lover's face sending a jolt of want to his own loins. He needed Phai, more than even the man himself probably knew, more than anything he'd ever needed in his life; Hephaistion's heart, mind, body and soul were all he'd ever needed and there was no way he would allow the love of his life to simply dismiss him, in order that his life should be easier. He did not understand how Hephaistion could not know that having less of him in his life would make Alexander's very existence incomplete and intolerable. He had no intention of letting Hephaistion wander to the outskirts of life, and the sooner the man knew it, the better.

"You are truly a wicked man," Hephaistion whispered against Alexander's shoulder. His breathing had almost returned to normal, his body relaxing into the hardness of the floor, the pounding of his heart not so much beating out of his chest anymore, but rather beating only for his beloved. "We were having a conversation in which you claimed that enjoying the pleasures of each other's bodies was not as important as just being together."

"Yes?" Alexander snickered, playfully rubbing his nose to Hephaistion's.

"Yes? So was ravaging me a way to prove your point, my love, because if you surely believe it was, then I shall have to believe you imbibed a little too much wine this evening, as well."

Chuckling again, Alexander rolled himself from Hephaistion's body and sat up cross-legged on the floor. "The only argument I was trying to make was that**,** no matter how much I do or do not touch you and enjoy the exquisiteness of your beauty, yours is still the only heart that I hold next to mine. Do the hours upon hours of time we spend together fully-clothed**,** but enjoying each other's company, not count for anything, Phai? I am truly puzzled by the confusion you seem to be experiencing in your heart."

Pushing himself from the floor, Hephaistion took Alexander's face in his hands, his ocean-filled blue eyes misty and calm. "I am but a mere mortal, Alexander**,** a mere mortal man who adores a king and God made by Zeus himself. You must excuse my insecurities and shortcomings when it comes to the feelings of love and need that I hold for you. My only wish has always been to see you happy and well, and the fact that I've been allowed to be at your side up until now is truly a blessing. My fears, though seemingly inaccurate and incomprehensible to you, are gravely serious to me. I don't wish to be a burden that you feel you have to drag along behind you, nor a responsibility that you believe you cannot give up. With time I believe I could be truly satisfied with being on the outskirts of your life, as long as that distance still allowed me to watch over you."

"There will be no distance between us, Hephaistion," Alexander said, covering Hephaistion's hands on his face. "You are not merely a responsibility**,** or a burden in any way. I only wish to love you in the only way I know how, by my side. Does falling asleep in each other's arms not mean something? Does biding my time until I can see you in the dining hall not mean something? Does looking for you in every crowd of people that flows by my door not mean something?"

"Alright," Hephaistion moaned, sealing his lips to Alexander's for a moment. "I understand that you love me. I understand that I have been a fool, but might I not get a little understanding from you**,** as well, my love?"

"Of course. Tell me the understanding that you do seek and it shall be done."

Hephaistion chuckled, his hands falling from Alexander's face and coming up to cover his own. "You are ... I have no words for what you are."

"Handsome? Riveting? Massive in my manliness?"

"Yes, all of those, but also frustrating and irritating and maddening."

"Do you wish for me to give you an example of how I think about you**,** even when you don't believe I am?" Alexander's eyes twinkled with mischief as Hephaistion settled himself on his bottom, one leg slung over Alexander's thigh.

"Yes, I do."

Smirking like an adolescent who had just gotten away with a very nasty prank, Alexander cleared his throat and entwined his fingers with Hephaistion's. "What do you, General Hephaistion, believe was the most memorable part of my wedding day?"

Hephaistion groaned and tried to disentangle his fingers from his lover's. "I thought this conversation was evolving into one that made me feel better, not made me think about things I do not wish to know at all."

"Patience, my dear Hephaistion. Now, answer the question."

Huffing out a deep breath, Hephaistion looked down at the floor**,** then back up into Alexander's eyes. "You don't really wish me to say your wedding night, do you?"

"Yes, I do, but the real question is, which part of my wedding night?"

"Oh, Alexander. Have we gone back to tormenting my very soul?"

"What have I said wrong? Do you not wish to speak of how I bedded a woman for the first time?"

"Enough! Please show yourself from my room, my king. I believe I've seen and heard quite enough of you."

Alexander grabbed Hephaistion just before he made it all the way off the floor, the wine in his system still hampering any sudden movements. "The jealousy in your eyes makes me want to ravage you again."

"That will not be happening. Please show yourself ..."

"Seeing you in my doorway.."

"What?"

"That was the most memorable moment, well, and this one of course, rolling around on the floor with you is always such a treat ..."

"Focus, please."

"Ah, yes. I worried you would completely shun me after my marriage, Hephaistion. I worried that my heart would truly be lonely forever, but when you appeared at my door, your eyes misty and the smile on your face one of sadness instead of joy, my heart sang out."

"You wished me to be sad, Alexander?"

"Yes **… **well, no**,** not exactly. I wished to see some feeling from you**,** since you had been so cold to me after the announcement was made."

Hephaistion squinted his eyes, his mouth dropping open for a moment. "Cold? I was not aware I was cold to you."

"Perhaps you were already guarding your own heart. Perhaps your mind was already planning to dismiss me to make it easier on us both. I don't hold it against you that you were not happy about the union, not do I believe you were avoiding me on purpose. But seeing you that way**,** after you'd been making yourself scarce**,** was the happiest moment of my wedding day, Phai."

"I honestly was not aware I was already distancing myself from you, Alexander," Hephaistion said. "I will admit that appearing in your doorway was planned on my part, but in a completely different way than you wished. I merely wanted to wish you well and tell you how proud of you I was. Those were my intentions. The ring ... I was hesitant right up until the last moment about giving it to you because I felt you might not understand the significance in it and appreciate the love behind it. It was a gift I was very proud to give you and seeing it on your finger makes me swell with pride."

"I do understand the significance,,and my own pride swells with the mere remembrance of your words. I believe my dream will shine on all men**,** but only if you are at my side to see it be done."

"That makes me truly happy, and if it is so, I shall have completed the only task that has ever been important to me in my life, Alexander."

Alexander tilted his head, pulling a small chuckle from Hephaistion's throat. "Are we not having a serious moment here, General Hephaistion? Must you make fun of the cocking of my head at every chance you get?"

"Not every chance, my love. What were you about to say before I rudely made fun of you?"

"Were those your only intentions?"

"What?"

"You said you had intended to wish me well and tell me how proud you were of me**.**"

"Yes."

"But was there anything further you were intending, Hephaistion? Did I not already tell you that I could feel the pain coursing through your body during the embrace you gave me? Were you feeling pain, Phai?"

Hephaistion bowed his head, only to have his chin grasped between Alexander's fingers. "I was. I did not wish to embrace you the way I did, but I couldn't help myself. I believe I could have fooled us both had I not succumbed to holding you in my arms one last time."

"Fooled us both? How is that possible?"

"I believed I was doing the best thing for you, Alexander, by taking myself out of your life, or at least, removing the burden of having to hold onto my heart. Up until I wrapped you in my arms, I truly thought I could do it, I truly thought being away from you would work for the both of us, but then my heart crashed through once again when I held you."

"Do you still wish for me to let go of your heart?"

"I never really did."

"Which is a good thing, Phai, because your heart, as well as your fate, is sealed tightly with mine. There is no you and I, only and us and we. All the things that you seem to think are more important than you, are simply _things_ to me, while you will always remain most important. Is there anything at all that I can say to make you understand and believe that? Because you have to know that I will do anything for you, Hephaistion, anything at all."

"And I, for you. But in answer to your question, you've already reassured me of my place and made me feel foolish in my thoughts, and there is nothing further that you need to do. I worry though that _you_ don't fully understand the circumstances that you have created for yourself."

Alexander cocked his head, again, righting it quickly, but not before Hephaistion smiled widely at him. "What have I created?"

"You have seen to it that I shall no longer be willing to step aside for the good of the king. From now on, I shall not even consider dismissing myself**,** or allowing myself to become distant in your life. I am proud to say that with the placement of that ring on your finger, I have become a permanent part of your life."

"Weren't you always?"

"Yes, but now there's proof, and I shudder to think of what I might be inclined to do to you, should you ever take that ring off and wish to let go of my heart."

"The circumstances would indeed be tragic then, would they not?"

"Yes, they most definitely would."

"Then it appears that we are stuck with each other, always and till the end."

"It does appear so."

"Then may I make one request of the man whose heart shall remain embedded within my own for all eternity?"

"Yes, my king."

"Might we retire to the bed instead of dwelling on the floor?"

"You used to like the floor."

"Oh, and I still do, but there are things I'd prefer to do on a much softer surface."

"Do I need to remind you of the restraint you so bragged about earlier?"

"No, my restraint is still intact. It's yours that I'm hoping will falter this time."


End file.
